


Trapped Again

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-10-17
Updated: 2000-10-17
Packaged: 2018-11-10 06:18:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11121591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Escape is never easy...This story is a sequel to Once Upon A Lifetime.





	Trapped Again

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Trapped Again

## Trapped Again

by Alison

Author's notes: Hello again. 

Like its predecessor this has a fairly large helping of h/c, so if that's not your cup of tea I would suggest that you give this one a miss. 

Thanks are again due to NightJune, Oz, Sylvie and Eliza. What a team! 

Hope you enjoy it. Any comments are, of course, welcomed.

* * *

Fraser slowly untangled himself from Ray and followed Diefenbaker out into the living room. Dief headed straight for the door to the apartment and then looked back expectantly at Fraser, who stopped, listening hard. He could hear faint sounds from outside in the hall, furtive scrapings and scufflings which could almost be dismissed as nothing, just night sounds. But Diefenbaker had woken him, and Fraser knew in his heart that the noises were far from innocent. 

He jumped slightly at the very definite sound of a key being put into the lock and turned repeatedly. Fraser offered up a silent prayer of thanks that Ray had had the foresight to change the locks just that afternoon. He glanced down at Diefenbaker, who growled softly in the back of his throat, sensing the tension in the air. 

"Fraser? What's going on?" Ray was standing in the living room, arms folded tightly across his chest. He looked irresolute, vulnerable, and Fraser stamped down on his feelings of anger and protectiveness. He needed to stay clear-headed and work out just how to get rid of Harry without causing Ray any more damage, mental or physical. 

"Nothing's going on Ray," said Fraser softly. "Dief needs to go out, that's all." 

"If he needs to go out then why are you both just standing there looking ..." Ray's voice trailed off as he too heard the renewed noise of the key in the lock. "Oh," he said. 

"It's all right," said Fraser quickly. "Nobody can get in, you know that. You changed the locks yourself." 

Almost hypnotised by the sound Ray took several steps towards the door, only stopping when Fraser put a hand on his arm. 

The noise outside stopped suddenly and all three occupants of the apartment looked at the door, almost holding their collective breath, waiting to see what was going to happen next. 

More furtive scuffling sounded briefly, and both Ray and Fraser watched as a sheet of paper was pushed under the door of the apartment. A gentle tapping on the door galvanised Ray into action and before Fraser could move to stop him, he had pressed his head and hands against the door, but whether he was trying to keep Harry out or pull him into the apartment wasn't clear. 

Fraser's sharp ears picked up Harry's voice. "Sweet dreams, Ray." Then there was silence. 

Ray reached down to pick up the piece of paper, but Fraser was faster, unfolding the thin sheet, quickly scanning the contents before crumpling it between his fingers. 

"What is it?" asked Ray, frowning when Fraser shook his head. "Don't treat me like an idiot Fraser! I want to know what he said." He held out his hand for the paper and Fraser reluctantly let him take it, realising that he couldn't treat Ray as if he were breakable. 

Ray slowly read the note, then handed it back to Fraser, hand trembling slightly. 

"Well some of that seems anatomically impossible," he said lightly, trying to make a joke of it and not fooling Fraser for a second. 

"He won't hurt you again Ray," said Fraser softly. "I won't let him hurt you again. You were strong enough to make the break from him and you're not going back." 

"No, I know," answered Ray. "But you've gotta give me a bit of time, okay? I've dealt with this by myself for a long time and I'm not ready yet to let somebody else deal with it for me. I don't really believe that I've gotten away from him, not yet. It was way too easy. Harry doesn't give up, y'know?" 

"Come on back to bed," ordered Fraser, putting a hand on Ray's shoulder. He could almost feel Ray's fear, running under the surface of that pale skin like some kind of live creature. 

Ray pulled away and crouched down until he was face to face with Diefenbaker. 

"Thanks, wolf," he said clearly. "Nice to know that you're on my side." 

Dief huffed slightly, embarrassed, and settled back down by the door, nose resting on his paws. He kept his eyes on his new packmate until he vanished into another room. 

* 

In the bedroom Ray went to stand by the window, trying to see out into the night. It had started to rain heavily and the streets looked almost slippery. 

"He's not out there," said Fraser, putting his arms around Ray. Ray sighed and let his head drop back until it was resting on Fraser's shoulder. They were the same height and fitted together well, although Ray's slighter build made Fraser, at first glance, seem taller. 

"Yeah he is," answered Ray. "I just don't know where." He turned until he was nose to nose with Fraser, then smiled. It was a shaky, pale effort, but it was still a smile, and Fraser's heart eased a little. 

"Come back to bed," said Fraser. "It's cold and late and the last thing I need is you deciding to be sick. I bet you're a horror to be around when you're ill." 

"I'm a horror to be around most of the time," Ray leaned forward to kiss Fraser softly. "Thanks for being here, okay?" 

"Okay," said Fraser. "Come on." 

Ray obediently climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets up around his ears. 

"Come to bed, Frase," he said. "It's cold." 

"In a minute," answered Fraser. "I'm just going to get a drink. I'll be back in a heartbeat." 

Ray grunted and settled further into the blankets. He closed his eyes so that he could keep track of Fraser by sound, instead of having to rely on his poor eyesight. He thought again of the note Harry had pushed under the door and he wanted to curl up around his pain, burying it all in a deep place where nobody could ever find it. He knew that Fraser was too good for him; that if Ray showed even the slightest hint of the dark places in his soul, he wouldn't see Fraser for dust. That was what Harry had always said. "You've got too much hidden inside for other people to deal with. That's why you need me." 

Still worn out from the events of the day, Ray fell into a troubled sleep, restless and hurting. 

In the lounge, Fraser sat on the couch, staring at the front door, Dief sitting beside him. 

And outside, Harry stood in the rain watching the apartment. 

* * *

Ray woke slowly the next morning, still tired. He didn't want to get up, not really, but he knew that he couldn't hide forever. Better to face his demons than to let them catch him unaware. 

He climbed out of bed, grunting as his body protested the movement. Ruefully he looked down at his torso; the bruises were still just as livid as ever. Just because he had escaped from Harry didn't mean that his body had miraculously healed itself. 

He made his slow way towards the kitchen, needing a drink more than anything else. It was only when he stepped out of the bedroom that he realised there was no sign of either Fraser or Dief. 

"Frase? Fraser?" The apartment was small; there were only so many places a grown man and his wolf could be hiding and Ray doubted if they were actually in any of them. He shrugged. He'd been right then. Fraser had realised the enormity of what he'd done, couldn't handle the baggage that Ray brought with him, and had skedaddled. 

"No biggie," he said aloud, wondering if it were ever possible to tell yourself a lie you could believe. 

When he entered the kitchen area he saw the note propped against the coffee jar. It struck him suddenly that he had never seen Fraser's handwriting, but like the man himself, it was strong and clear. No nonsense kind of writing. He and Dief had gone to the store. 

Slightly shamefaced, Ray moved the note and began to make himself some coffee. 

* 

By the time Ray had finished his coffee and had begun to contemplate a shower, Fraser was back, laden down with foodstuffs, very few of which Ray could even remember having seen before. Or if he had, he certainly hadn't realised you were supposed to eat them. 

Rummaging through the packages his eyes finally landed on something he recognised and he triumphantly held up the pack of doughnuts. 

"Yes! Now these I know!" he said. Judging by Dief's immediate reaction, so did the wolf. 

"Diefenbaker, stop it!" chastised Fraser. "I can only apologise for him Ray. He sees a certain kind of food and he reverts to puppyhood. Which is odd because I never gave him anything which wasn't strictly necessary." 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" muttered Ray, ripping the packet open with his teeth, reminding Fraser rather fondly of an eager child. 

Between them, Ray and Dief, but mainly Dief, managed to get through almost half the packet before Fraser wrestled it from their grip. 

"Fruit," he said to Ray, who laughed out loud. 

"There's no need to insult me Frase," he said. "It's not as if you're Mr Straight yourself..." 

"What? Oh." Fraser went a delightful shade of red. "I mean there's fruit in the bag. Why don't you have some of that? The vitamins would be far better for you than all the sugar and fat in the doughnuts. Would it be better if I stopped talking for a little while now?" 

"I think so," answered Ray, obediently picking up an orange. "So, how do I eat this?" 

For a brief moment Fraser fell for it, but then he frowned, trying to hide the twitch of his mouth. 

Ray smiled and pulled himself onto the counter so that he could watch as Fraser moved around the kitchen finding homes for his new purchases. This felt so right, Ray could hardly believe they hadn't been doing this forever. But a glance down at the bruises on his body brought the truth home with a dull thud. He put the orange down and wrapped his arms tightly around his body. 

Fraser glanced up and saw the protective stance Ray had taken up. He closed the cupboard he was currently setting in order and turned to face the other man. 

"Ray?" he said softly. "Ray, are you okay?" 

"Yeah," he paused. "No. I dunno." He shrugged and tried to smile. "This is great, I like this. But it's too sudden, too soon. I don't know what to think, y'know? You know and I know that Harry's not going to go too far away. I'm gonna pay for this, for what we've done, for what we did last night." 

"It doesn't have to be like that ..." began Fraser but stopped as Ray held up a hand to stop him. 

"It does," he said simply. "Frase, I've lived with this, I know the drill. You don't. For fuck's sake there are people at the precinct who don't even know I live with a man, and even if they do, they sure as hell don't know what he does to me. Nobody but you knows that. And that's how it stays, okay? Nothing's ever happened to me that I haven't asked for or deserved." 

"Ray, that's not true!" Fraser couldn't stop himself. He pushed himself away from the cupboard and walked to Ray, who slid off the counter and out of the kitchen. 

"I'm gonna take a shower, okay?" said Ray. "Won't be long." 

* 

By the time Ray emerged from his shower he seemed a little less tightly wound. He found that getting dressed had helped, almost putting a layer of defence between himself and the rest of the world. He smiled at Fraser and rested a hand briefly on his shoulder, then made his way to the window. The rain of last night had stopped but it looked cold, grey and uninviting out there. Ray couldn't shake the feeling that the apartment was being watched. He worked on his instincts and he knew, he just knew that Harry wouldn't leave him alone, not this easily. He put his hand on his stomach and pressed gently, hissing as he aggravated his bruises. 

"Ray?" Fraser was standing in the middle of the room, not sure what to do. 

"Nothing, it's okay," Ray reassured. "Just making sure it's real." 

"What's real?" asked Fraser, confused. 

"Everything," said Ray quietly. "The whole shebang." 

Fraser walked over and put one hand on Ray's arm. "What's wrong?" he asked. 

"I dunno," answered Ray. "Nothing. Everything. This is wrong," he put his hand over Fraser's. "But it's right. I don't want to drag you down with me, but I don't want you to leave. When Harry comes back I don't want you getting hurt because of me." 

"Harry won't come back," said Fraser. 

"He will!" Ray pulled away and pressed both hands flat against the cold window. "He's out there and he'll come back. You don't just walk away from something like this Fraser, not without paying for it." 

"Don't you think you have paid?" asked Fraser. "Paid in the beatings you've taken? Paid in the silence you've maintained all this time?" 

"No," said Ray simply. "No, I haven't even started." 

Fraser didn't know how to answer that. Somewhere in the time he had spent with Harry, Ray had lost every ounce of self-belief and confidence. The front he showed at the precinct was just that; a front, a sham. Inside, where the real core of Ray Kowalski should be, there was nothing. Fraser prided himself on his control, his ability to let his mind rule his heart, but this was different. This was Ray. And all Fraser wanted was to find Harry before Harry found Ray. Fraser wasn't sure that Ray's self esteem could take another beating. 

"Come on," Ray said, making a visible effort to lighten the mood in the room. "It's Sunday, we don't have to work. What do you want to do?" 

"We could go for a walk," Fraser suggested, smiling at Ray's expression. 

"It's cold out there," Ray said. "It's cold and it's grey and it's miserable. If we leave this apartment we go somewhere warm. Or we could just not leave at all. There's food, there's coffee, there's something called fruit, which I still consider an insult, by the way, and there's warmth." 

Fraser moved again and this time there was no protest as he gathered Ray into a firm embrace. In fact Ray sighed, sounding almost content, and let his head rest on Fraser's shoulder. This was weird. It had been a long time since he had felt safe when he was in somebody's arms. With Harry this gentle stage had rarely lasted, but he was beginning to realise that with Fraser it didn't have to be a prelude to something else. If Ray wanted it, it could stay like this, just holding. 

"I don't want you to get hurt," he said softly, his mouth against Fraser's neck. "You have to promise me that if you ever feel like you're in danger or if you get sick of the baggage I carry, you get out of this." 

He felt Fraser take a breath to begin to protest and stopped him by the simple method of placing his hand over Fraser's mouth. 

"No," he said. "Don't argue with me on this one. I don't think I could handle being responsible for somebody else being hurt." 

Fraser squeezed Ray as hard as he could, but didn't answer. He wasn't going to commit himself to something like that. He had come home now, and he had no intention of leaving. 

Ray pulled away and the two men looked at each other for a long time before Ray finally raised his hand and ran his finger along Fraser's lower lip, smiling. 

"So fucking gorgeous," he said softly and leaned in for a kiss. 

It was a sweet kiss, a deep and soft kiss. A kiss with no demands, no threats, and as it deepened, Ray felt Fraser's hands slide under his shirt. He tensed, but relaxed again almost immediately. 

But it was too late. Fraser had noticed and he pulled away, putting his hands on Ray's shoulders. 

Ray closed his eyes, part of his mind waiting for the fist to connect, even though another part of his mind was telling him it wouldn't happen, not with Fraser. 

"Sorry," he muttered, ducking his head. "Didn't mean to do that." 

"Ray, it doesn't matter," Fraser's voice was soft, infinitely gentle, and Ray hated himself more than he would have thought possible. He felt Fraser's hand on his hair and tried to stop himself pulling away. 

"Ray, look at me," said Fraser. Ray did as he was told without thinking, and when he saw the compassion in Fraser's eyes he wanted to fall to his knees and beg Fraser to leave, to go before that compassion and gentleness was corrupted into something dark and mean. 

"I would never hurt you," said Fraser softly. "Whatever you want is enough for me. It's enough for me just to be here with you. Anything else you want, and it has to be what you want, is a bonus. Do you understand?" 

"I think so," said Ray. "But why?" 

"Because you don't hurt the people you love," said Fraser simply. 

Ray wanted to cry. He wanted to pray to whatever gods were listening and thank them for this gift. But above all he wanted to show Fraser that he wasn't frightened of him. He had spent a long time hiding Harry's existence from the rest of the world and he could carry on doing it. There would be a reckoning, Ray knew that, but Fraser didn't have to be part of it. He didn't deserve this shit. 

"I know how we can spend the day," he said, entwining his fingers with Fraser's. "Use up a lot of energy and keep us warm all at the same time." 

"Oh?" said Fraser, feeling his breathing speed up slightly. "What would that be?" 

"Come on. I'll show you," replied Ray, heading towards the bedroom, pulling Fraser along with him. 

Once in the bedroom Ray released his hold on Fraser's hand and took a couple of steps away. Then he very slowly and deliberately removed his t-shirt, tossing it into a corner of the room. He put his hands on the waistband of his sweats and then stopped, looking at Fraser. 

"It's yours," he said softly. "Whatever you want, it's yours. You've just gotta come and get it." 

"I want what you want," said Fraser, surreptitiously wiping his sweaty palms on the legs of his jeans, which were beginning to tighten uncomfortably. 

"Well I want you to come over here and rampage my body," said Ray. 

"Rampage? Do you mean ravish?" 

"I dunno. Probably." Ray held out his hands. "Just come on." 

So Fraser did as he was told, dropping to his knees and pulling Ray's sweats down, pulling Ray off balance and making him rest a hand on Fraser's shoulder while he stepped out of them. They joined the shirt in the corner of the room. Unable to resist, Fraser licked his slow and careful way down the line of Ray's hip to the top of his thigh. He felt Ray tremble slightly, but didn't think it was fear this time. 

Standing up, Fraser kissed Ray thoroughly, putting as much emotion as he could into the act. Pulling back slightly, he peppered Ray's face and neck with butterfly kisses before claiming his mouth again, more gently this time. 

"See? he said quietly when he broke the kiss, " Don't be scared." Ray nodded, not speaking. 

Fraser let his hands roam over Ray's long, smooth back, dipping down a little lower with each stroke until Ray began to shift against him. 

"Fraser," he whispered. "I seem to be the only naked one here. Could we do something about that do you think?" 

"What do you have in mind?" asked Fraser. "Would you like to put some clothes on?" 

"Oh that's very funny," said Ray, nipping at Fraser's throat. "But no, that isn't quite what I had in mind." He reached down and pulled Fraser's shirt out of his jeans. "I just thought that you might like to join me." 

"Very much," said Fraser, sucking in a breath as he felt Ray's hands begin to stroke his stomach. "So much." 

Ray slid his hands a little further down and began to slowly unzip Fraser's jeans, sliding his hand inside as soon as he could. 

"That's nice," he said, stroking the hard flesh through the cotton of Fraser's boxers. "You gonna let me see that?" He slowly worked his fingers down the length of Fraser's cock and began to tease the tip. Fraser grunted and pulled his hips away, making Ray smile. 

Fraser pushed Ray's shoulders until the smaller man took a step backwards. The bed caught him in the back of the knees and Ray found himself sitting down, face level with the very enticing bulge in Fraser's jeans. 

"You want me to take care of that?" he asked conversationally, putting both hands on the waistband of Fraser's jeans and pulling the thick material down, giving him better access. "I'd like to." 

"Then I'd like you to as well," said Fraser, relieved. He hadn't intended for Ray to be put in this situation so soon, but now that it had happened Ray seemed happy enough to take charge. 

Ray leaned forward and nuzzled the damp cotton of Fraser's boxers, both hearing and feeling the huge lungful of air Fraser took to try and regain some control over his breathing. 

Slowly, Ray pulled the boxers down to join Fraser's jeans, already puddled on the floor. Almost daintily Fraser stepped out of them, resting a hand on Ray's shoulder for balance. Not that he needed to; he just wanted to touch Ray, to know that he could. 

"Oh, I like that," Ray whispered, wrapping one of his hands around Fraser's cock, stroking it a few times and lapping at the very tip, tasting the tang of Fraser's excitement. He looked up at Fraser as he continued to taste and Fraser half smiled down at him. 

Ray leaned forward to take as much of Fraser into his mouth as he could, learning the taste of this man. He pulled away, startled, when the phone rang, disturbing the silence of the apartment. 

"You'd better get that, Ray," muttered Fraser regretfully. 

Ray grunted and looked all set to refuse, but then thought better of it and leaned over the bed, picking up the receiver. 

"Vecchio," he said, tucking the phone under his chin, freeing his hands so that he could continue to explore Fraser's body. 

"Hi Ray," said Harry. "You fucking the Mountie?" 

Fraser felt Ray's tension, and stepped back out of reach of those suddenly cold hands. Feeling somewhat exposed he quickly pulled his jeans back on and then knelt at Ray's feet. 

Ray hadn't spoken. He couldn't. He looked at Fraser but didn't really see him; he looked around the room as if expecting Harry to appear out of thin air. 

"Ray, are you listening to me?" Harry sounded more impatient this time. "If you're fucking him, then I swear I'll kill you, do you understand? Or maybe I'll kill him and make you watch. Would you like that?" 

"No..." Ray said, almost a whisper, but he couldn't continue. 

"I know what you're doing now," said Harry. "You're in the bedroom with him aren't you? Has he made you suck him yet or is he happy with just your hand? You should suck him you know; you're good at that." 

The phone went dead in Ray's hand and he slowly put it back in its cradle. 

"Ray?" asked Fraser. "Ray, tell me." 

Ray fixed his gaze on the floor between his feet, unable to look at Fraser. 

"Ray?" Fraser put a hand on Ray's leg and pulled back almost immediately as Ray reacted as if he had been stung. 

"Was it Harry?" asked Fraser softly. "Is that who it was?" 

"He's watching us," said Ray softly, pulling his knees up to his chest and beginning to rock himself. "He knows what we're doing." He put his forehead on his pulled up knees, making himself as small as he could. "Oh god, he knows. He's going to kill me." 

"No he isn't Ray," said Fraser. "He won't hurt you, I won't let him." 

Before Fraser could go any further, Ray almost rocketed off the bed and went to the window, gazing out into the cold damp day. 

"He's out there and he's watching me, watching both of us. You don't know him like I do Fraser, he won't give in. I fucking knew this would happen, I just knew it!" 

Fraser walked behind Ray and put out a hand, but Ray pulled away from it and crossed to the corner, pulling his clothes back on. 

"I want you to get out, Fraser," he said. "I want you to go before he comes back, okay?" 

"No Ray, I don't want to do that," said Fraser, still standing by the window. "I want to help you, you know that." 

Ray turned to Fraser, his face full of despair. 

"But I don't want you to help me! Nobody can help me, don't you understand? You stay here you'll be dragged into this whole mess and I don't want that to happen. Please get out." 

"Ray..." 

"Get OUT!" Ray practically screamed. "Leave me the fuck alone! Why can't everybody just leave me the fuck alone!" He put his hand over his mouth to shut himself up and looked at Fraser, eyes full of fear. 

"Jesus, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean it..." He took a huge step backwards as Fraser approached him, but the wall of the bedroom stopped him from going any further. 

Fraser didn't think his heart could take much more. Ray was scared, almost panicked, and it wasn't just because of the threat of Harry. He was frightened of Fraser as well, and Fraser didn't know what to do. 

"Ray, I want to help you, don't you understand?" 

Ray continued trying to climb through the wall, no longer listening to Fraser, just trying to get away. 

"Ray..." Fraser tried again, and this time his voice seemed to penetrate the fog of fear around Ray, and he looked up. But his eyes were dead. 

"Get out Fraser," he said, very low and lost. "I don't want you here, I don't want anybody here. Thanks and all that, but I can't do this." 

Fraser wanted to gather Ray into his arms, hold him tightly, and show him that love didn't have to hurt, but he could see that if he so much as made a move towards him, Ray would run. 

"If you're sure that's what you want," said Fraser softly, "then I'll go. But if you need me then you know where I am, okay?" 

Ray didn't respond, and slowly Fraser gathered his few belongings together and made his way out of the apartment, Dief at his heels. 

He closed the front door of the apartment building behind him and after a quick glance up at Ray's window he made his way to the corner where he and the wolf settled to keep watch. 

* * *

As soon as the apartment door closed, Ray sank to the floor, arms wrapped around his suddenly cold body. He knew it had been too easy, too quick; getting away from someone like Harry would take a lot more work than that. 

He wasn't surprised when the phone rang again, and he picked it up knowing who it would be. 

"Now that's better," said Harry. "You don't need him, Ray, not when you've got me. It's okay though; I understand that it was just a mistake on your part. Trust me, once you've paid for it everything will be back to normal. Understand?" 

"Yeah, I understand," said Ray quietly, feeling the last flicker of hope in his soul die. He wasn't good enough for someone like Fraser, he'd known that. He deserved Harry; Harry knew what he was like. 

"You changed the locks on the door didn't you?" asked Harry. "Why did you do that?" 

"I dunno," said Ray, "I'm sorry." 

"I know you are," said Harry, soft and patient. "I know you're sorry. But you'll have to let me in won't you? You got a spare set of keys for me?" 

"Sure," answered Ray. 

"I'll be there soon." Once again Harry hung up, leaving Ray staring into space, clutching the phone. 

* 

"No Diefenbaker," said Fraser. for what felt like the twentieth time. "We are not going back to the Consulate yet. We are going to stand here and keep watch in case Harry attempts to get back to Ray." He looked over his shoulder, but the wolf seemed to have gone. 

He took a moment to look for any tell-tale sign of his companion, but then sighed and turned his attention back to the apartment building. 

* 

In some kind of Pavlovian reaction, Ray jumped to his feet when Harry hammered on the door and made his way across the living room. 

"Harry?" he whispered. He looked over his shoulder, looking for a way out he knew didn't really exist. He couldn't escape. This was what he deserved. 

He opened the door, looking at the ground, shoulders already hunching away from what he knew was going to happen. 

"Ray," said Harry softly. "You did a real bad thing there." 

"I know," Ray said softly. "I'm sorry." 

"You will be," answered Harry. "You know that don't you?" 

Harry closed the door and Ray was back in his prison. 

* 

Fraser watched the building faithfully until the light began to fade from the winter sky, but there was no sign of anybody trying to get in. 

Diefenbaker had reappeared, looking suspiciously pleased with himself, and Fraser realised that once again the wolf had found someone to charm. 

"Come on Dief," he said. "We'll see him tomorrow at the precinct. It doesn't look as if anybody's trying to get in and we really have to get back to the Consulate. I dread to think what Inspector Thatcher is going to make of our absence." 

Diefenbaker whined in agreement, and with a final glance at Ray's window, the light glowing softly into the dark street, the wolf and his man turned their backs on their companion, and walked into the gloom. 

* 

"Learned your lesson now Ray?" whispered Harry. "You won't do it again will you?" 

Ray tried to shake his head but he was so dizzy that any movement made him feel like he was about to throw up. 

"I'm going to go now," Harry continued. "But I will be back, don't worry. I'll be watching you all the time, so don't do anything stupid again. Understand?" 

Ray nodded but still didn't speak, then grunted as Harry kicked him in the ribs. 

"I didn't hear you," said Harry. 

"I understand," whispered Ray, "I'm sorry." 

He lay very still until he heard the apartment door close. 

* * *

"Good morning Francesca. Could I speak to Ray please?" Fraser was gazing at the morning's mail, not really registering what he was looking at. Even the pretence of studying it stopped with Francesca's words. 

"He's sick, Fraser. He called in today to say that he wouldn't be in for a couple of days." 

"Sick? Did he say what was wrong?" asked Fraser, his stomach clenching. 

"He sounded kinda blocked up, y'know? Guess it's just a cold; you know how men are when they get ill. One sneeze and they've got quadruple pneumonia." 

"Quadruple? Thank you, Francesca. Good day." 

Putting the phone down Fraser stood up and beckoned to Diefenbaker. 

"Constable Turnbull, I have to go out for a while. Kindly deal with any problems in your usual efficient ... well, your usual fashion." 

There was a muffled cry, which may have been Turnbull acknowledging his order, or it may have been Turnbull falling down the stairs. Fraser neither knew nor cared. He ignored it and left the Consulate, Diefenbaker at his heels. 

* 

Without thinking about it, Fraser opened the door to Ray's apartment using the keys Ray had given him. This was no time to worry about good manners. 

"Ray?" he called, looking around. The place was wrecked, everything breakable seemed to be smashed, and anything which couldn't be broken had simply been tipped onto the floor. 

"Ray!" Fraser called again, panic not far below the surface. "Where are you?" 

No sound. The silence of the apartment was absolute; the place was undoubtedly empty. 

"No! Ray, where are you?" Fraser practically ran into the bedroom, wincing at the state of the place. Then he stopped, forcing himself to calm down, to breathe. The closets were open and clothes seemed to be pulled out and randomly piled on the floor, but closer inspection revealed something. All of the clothes Fraser had come to think of as Ray's favourites were gone. Not caring about Ray's right to privacy, Fraser scanned the bedroom but couldn't see a sign of the things he saw Ray wearing on a regular basis. 

Going to the closet Fraser tried to open the door fully, but the piles of clothes made it impossible. He kicked the clothes aside and forced the door open. No bags either; Fraser began to breathe a little more easily. The first thoughts he had had; Ray lying somewhere too injured to ask for help, began to fade a little. He went back into the lounge and looked around. Ray wouldn't go without letting Fraser know somehow; Fraser knew that with absolute certainty. But where would he leave a message? Fraser's glance passed over the tank containing the turtle and then returned to it. Would Harry look in there? 

Now that he looked properly, the tank was clean and the food and water had been replenished; Ray had thought about what he was doing. Fraser chastised himself; if he had looked properly there wouldn't have been this unseemly panic. Rather gingerly he peered into the tank; sure enough, tucked under the food bowl, he could see a sheet of paper. 

Picking it up, he unfolded it and studied the contents. Ray's writing was haphazard at the best of times and this was worse than usual. He had obviously been in a hurry when he wrote it. 

'Fraser 

I'll be back real soon. I've got to do some thinking alone. 

Don't go anywhere, okay, and don't bother calling. The cell's off.' 

It wasn't signed, but then it was highly unlikely that some opportunistic burglar would have broken in and left a message. 

The first thing Fraser did was pick up the phone and call Ray's cellphone. It was switched off, as the note had said. He folded the paper and carefully tucked it inside his Stetson. Then he set about clearing up some of the mess in the apartment. By doing that he found he didn't have to think, didn't have to let his mind picture any of the things which could have happened to make Ray do this. Yes, he had been upset the previous night, but not enough to trash the place. Harry had done this, or at the very least had been the cause of it. 

"I had to leave, had to get back. It's my fault, I'm sorry," he murmured as he methodically cleaned. "If I had stayed I would have seen Harry, been able to help you. Why didn't you tell me? All you had to do was call me." 

Dief, sensing his packmate's distress, whined softly and put his nose against Fraser's leg. Fraser looked down and smiled. Then the smile faded and he dropped to his knees, burying his face in Diefenbaker's soft fur. 

"Help me help him, Dief," he said. "I don't know where to begin." 

"You leave him alone," said Bob Fraser. "He needs to work this out alone. He doesn't need you interfering." 

"Go away, Dad," said Fraser. "This isn't the time or place for your opinions." 

Silence. His father had gone without a fight. But his words hung in the air. 

Deliberately ignoring the paternal advice, Fraser straightened and went over to the phone. 

* * *

Ray gingerly lowered himself onto the bed and lay there trying to ease his aching ribs. 

"Ow. Fuck," he said softly. "Fuck." 

The hotel was okay; it was what he wanted anyway. Nobody would come looking for him in this part of town. He had covered his tracks as well as an undercover cop could; nobody would find him unless he wanted to be found. Not Harry. And not Fraser. 

Ray rested his hands on his stomach and concentrated on breathing slowly, carefully, not wanting to exacerbate the injuries Harry had inflicted. 

After only a few minutes he got off the bed and made his careful way into the bathroom where he turned the shower on as hot as it would go. He shed his clothes and climbed under the water, easing his bruises that way. He didn't look down to inspect the injuries; to do that would be to admit to himself that he was still trapped; that Harry still had a hold on him and could still hurt him, no matter how much encouragement Fraser gave him. 

He stayed under the water until it began to run cold, then got out and wrapped himself in the biggest towel he could find. Going back into the bedroom he went to the window and gazed out. Still grey and raining; it was like the whole world was drowning. 

"Know how you feel," he muttered. "What the fuck am I supposed to do?" 

//Fight it,// said Fraser's voice in his head and Ray smiled, resting his forehead against the glass of the window. 

"In too deep, Frase," he muttered. "No matter which way I turn it feels like I get kicked in the head." 

Going over to his jacket he pulled his cellphone out of the pocket and switched it on. Looking at it, not sure what he was doing, he jumped a mile in the air when it beeped at him. He had two messages, and he knew just who they were from. 

"Ray, if you need anything, even just to talk to someone, please call me." Ray smiled at the sound of Fraser's voice, suddenly feeling more grounded and confident. 

The second message was from Fraser as well. 

"Ray, please let me know when you're coming home. I know that I shouldn't be asking you this, and I don't want you to think I'm interfering, but I wish you'd talk to me. Obviously Dief and I will take care of your apartment and the turtle and everything. What about the Lieutenant? Have you spoken to him? Oh, I'm blithering, I do apologise. Please come home." 

Ray flicked the phone off and held it in his hand for a second, before putting it back in the pocket of his jacket. 

"I can't buddy. Not yet." 

Climbing onto the bed, he arranged himself as comfortably as possibly and watched the light fade from the sky. 

The End 


End file.
